His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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