the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
