No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
