were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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