u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
