I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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