yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
