So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
