ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
