I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
