did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
