i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
