at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
