have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
