I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize