wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize