If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize