I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
