it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
