party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
