Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
