R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I love you.
Bad choice
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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