They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
