She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
