I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize