I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
