this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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