My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
