Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
