half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
