never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
