Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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