He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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