The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
