Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
