Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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