Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
