their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
