i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
