All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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