I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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