I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The adults are the big ones right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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