So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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