we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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