i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
