Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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