Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
