I think my vagina is haunted
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
