No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
