I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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