Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
