Do vagina's smell?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
