Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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