white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
