Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
