at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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