you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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